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How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup
By Kim Lance, Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine
[link "Online Dating Magazine" to http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com]
As the saying goes, breaking up is hard to do. If you have
decided to end a relationship that carries with it any feelings
or emotions, it is important to evaluate your approach to
breaking it off to avoid hurting the other person. Proper
break-up etiquette depends largely on how long you and your
partner have been in the relationship, how serious the relationship
is, and whether or not the feelings are mutual.
When ending any relationship try to do it with class and
compassion. Here are a few tips you should follow when it
is time to break things off, but remember each relationship
and reaction is different, expect the unexpected as a response.
Be Honest
Don’t try to make up excuses for breaking up if they
aren’t there. Just tell your partner why the relationship
is not working for you. Feeding him or her the “it’s
not you, it’s me” line may make you feel like
you are letting your partner down easy, but he or she will
most likely see through this and may even make up reasons
why they are unlovable…causing them more hurt and heartache.
Don’t String Them Along
If you have decided to break up with someone, there is no
reason to drag out your relationship. By avoiding the breakup,
you partner may be growing more and more attached, something
you certainly don’t want. When you want to end a
relationship, let the other person know as soon as is appropriately
possible so that their feelings do not continue to deepen
and develop.
End It For Good
The last thing a person being dumped wants to hear is “I
really want to continue our relationship as just friends” when
they are still in love. It is best for all concerned to give
the person you are breaking up with some time to get over
you before trying to build a friendship with them. Also,
don’t try to change a romantic relationship to a “friends
with benefits” relationship if you know the other person
still harbors feelings for you. This may give the other person
false hope that you want to rekindle the romance when, in
reality, you don’t. This can lead to confusion and
hurt feelings in the long run.
Break Up In Private
Don’t think that just because you are in a public place
when you break up with someone you will successfully stop
that person from making a scene. Sometimes strong emotions
cannot be stifled no matter how many other people are around.
By breaking up with someone in a public place you are putting
that person in a potentially embarrassing situation on top
of the stress of being dumped. This shows a lack of respect
on your part. Breaking up is something that should be done
in private so that any emotions can be expressed without
embarrassment.
Follow the Golden Rule
No matter how you decide to break up with someone, it is
best to always keep the golden rule in mind – do
unto others as you would have them to unto you. If you
were being dumped, you would want the other person to show
honesty and respect towards you. Keep this in mind when
planning your break up strategy. Don’t treat your
partner in any less of a manner than how you would expect
to be treated if the situation were reversed.
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Kim Lance is the Associate Publisher of
Online Dating Magazine [link "Online Dating
Magazine" to http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com],
an Internet publication covering online dating through news,
reviews, experiences, interviews, and articles.
This article is copyright and may not be republished. Used
with permission.
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